10 Books on the Difficult, the Wonderful, & the Essential Relationships with Fathers

As long as there have been stories, people have been telling them about fathers and their children. The literature surrounding dads, good and bad, is incredibly rich. We’ve pulled together a few of our favorite books about fathers and the complicated, rich, and rewarding role they can play in our lives.

Grief is the Thing With Feathers by Max Porter
After his wife’s sudden death, a widower struggles to deal with his grief and that of his two sons. As they descend into despair, they are visited by Crow, a self-described “sentimental bird” who attaches himself to the grieving family. This beautifully written meditation on grief and mourning focuses in on family and a father coping with loss.

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
In this 2004 Pulitzer Prize winner, Gilead, Iowa preacher Rev. John Ames, in failing health, writes a letter to his young son for him to remember him by. He recalls the relationship between his father and grandfather, fraught with political differences, and his close friend and neighbor Jack Boughton and his estranged son. With poetic sparseness, Gilead is a meditation on fathers and their sons, and ruminates on the place of faith, grace, and love despite humankind’s fallibility.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
After losing his father in the Sept. 11 attacks, Oskar goes in search of a lock that fits a key that once belonged to his father, hoping it will give him some answers. Scouring and navigating New York City alone, he does a fair bit of growing up as he enters the lives of dozens of seemingly unrelated people and begins to build a portrait of the man his father was.

H is For Hawk by Helen Macdonald
When Helen Macdonald’s father died suddenly on a London street, she was devastated. An experienced falconer, Helen had never before been tempted to train one of the most vicious predators, the goshawk, but in her grief, she saw that the goshawk’s fierce and feral temperament mirrored her own.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig
Following a father and son’s trip across the American Northwest, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance is one of the most influential books of the last century and often recommended for its philosophical contemplations. Trekking by motorcycle, the narrator, Phaedrus, confronts looming questions about our modern approach to life while striving to live by example.

Peace Like a River by Leif Enger
Narrated by the asthmatic Reuben Land, Enger follows an unusual family as they cross Dakota in pursuit of Reuben’s older brother Davy. Davy has been charged with killing two men and fled from the law, but Reuben, his father Jeremiah, and his sister Swede follow close behind. This beautiful novel about family and spirituality is touching and heartfelt.

I Am Sorry to Think I Have Raised a Timid Son by Kent Russell
In this work of literary nonfiction, Russell travels to the edges of the earth and the limits of civilization to understand himself and his thorny, difficult relationship with his father. Deeply personal and haunting, this collection of essays offers a new portrait of masculinity and father-son relationships.

The Beautiful Struggle by Ta-Nehisi Coates
This memoir by the author of 2015’s searing bestseller Between the World and Me explores the complex relationship between Paul Coates and his sons. Coates’ story of his father explores the challenges and contradictions of the man himself, and the journey of two boys — Ta-Nehisi and his brother Big Bill — as they become men.

On Beauty by Zadie Smith
The acclaimed writer here explores the life an an Englishman living abroad. Of particular interest are the different relationships he has with his African-American wife and their three children — Jerome, Zora, and Levi — as they grow up and diverge on different paths. The relationship between Howard (the father) and his daughter Zora is particularly fascinating.

Not My Father’s Son by Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming weaves together past and present in this memoir, built around the story of his reconnection with his father after over a decade of silence. Alex Cumming was a violent, controlling man who ruled Cumming’s childhood, and here he delves into how family history does — and doesn’t — shape our futures. It may not be a positive father-son relationship, but it can be a reminder that parental relationships are rarely easy and never simple.

Subscribe to our Strand Insider for more bookish bites!